Computer Love 101

January 18, 2009 § Leave a comment

How to find Mr. Right online


Computer Love – Zapp and Roger

If looking for love has left you jaded, don’t fret just yet. The power to find your soul mate (or at least a good date) could be at your fingertips–just a click away. With a stigma no longer attached at the hip, online dating is now a growing trend. Nowadays, its popularity is quite simple: You can find practically anything online, so why should finding a date be any different? Women, especially those who lead busy lives and find it difficult to connect with potential mates in more traditional ways, see online dating as convenient because they can weed out unsuitable mates faster by simply viewing profiles. Also, there’s anonymity to online dating because you only disclose as much information as your comfort level allows. Plus, rejection–which both women and men face in the dating game, is less harsh in online dating because somehow revealing, “I’m just not that into you,” over a computer screen doesn’t burn as bad.

Every woman has her reasons for pursuing online dating, but underneath it all is a hope that she can find compatibility. Let’s be honest, it’s hard to find love out there—especially for women of color. According to the most recent Census Bureau data, 54 percent of women over the age of 18 are unmarried. And only 30 percent of black women and 49 percent of Hispanic women are living with a spouse compared with 55 percent of white women. With daunting figures like these, it’s reasonable to keep an open mind when approaching dating, which is probably why so many women are at least trying online dating.

Online dating can seem effortless. Post your profile and bingo—you’ve hit the jackpot! Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. But, it also doesn’t have to leave you frustrated to the point of no return. Here, tips on how to play the online dating game and win big!

Find Your Flavor
In the past, online dating consisted of only a few general websites, making it overwhelming to find the perfect match in a cyberspace of thousands of men whose only discernible attributes are “single” tags. Now, there are thousands of websites that target specific demographics as well as niches—making it easier for you to search only for mates that suit your taste level. These specialized sites aren’t just the typical ones based on race, political and religious affiliations or even dress size. Ever wondered if there’s a guy out there who loves pets as much as you? Yes, there are even sites out there that cater to preferences as specific as that.

Create a Winning Profile
This should be obvious, but you’d be surprised at how many women don’t take their profiles serious. Put as much effort into crafting your profile as you would for your resume for your dream job. Let your personality shine through with your prose and pick a profile name that showcases your individuality. When posting your picture, choose a main profile picture that is clear, up-to-date and showcases your greatest physical assets, without revealing too much skin. Also make sure your photograph portrays you in a relaxed state—no pictures of yourself in business mode. You wouldn’t wear a suit on your first date, so don’t convey that to potential matches. Perception is everything.

Make the First Move
If you spot a guy online that seems like a good fit, don’t be afraid to catch his attention online by sending him a message. Many guys are attracted to confident women and aren’t taken aback by one who is willing to approach them first. He probably thinks you’re quite the catch as well. And, if he doesn’t, there’s plenty more fish in cyberspace.

Expect Disappointments
Don’t go into this with expectations so high that any disappointments will be a devastating blow your heart or ego. Like traditional dating, in online dating you probably won’t find Mr. Right right away. It takes time. You will find guys online that give you butterflies on the first date. And you will find guys online who may have you running for the door. You might even find a guy who isn’t Mr. Wrong nor Mr. Right, but will turn out to be a good friend. Dating is a learning experience, despite the method you use. Be realistic.

Use Discretion
Despite what you read on his profile, a potential Mr. Right is still a stranger to you before you meet him in person. Use caution. Before you agree to meet a potential match, exchange phone numbers first. Once you feel comfortable, agree to meet him in a public place for your first date. A bookstore or a coffeehouse are great options.


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